Okay
by Moosagi
Summary: Mike's thoughts through the bombing scene in Season 5, Episode 1 - The Third Man, with a bit of added extra. One-Shot. Established M/K


So have had this one half written and sitting in my folders for completion… Bit more of an expansion into Mike's thoughts through the bombing scene in the first episode of season 5.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer – Don't own Sea Patrol.

* * *

Even as he hit dial on the phone, he knew that the chances of her answering were slim. She hadn't answered the last 10 times he called, so why would this time be any different. The slightest of pauses in the dial tone had his heart skip a beat, before crushing him as it went straight through to message bank again.

"Hi. You have reached Kate McGregor. Please leave your name and …"

He hung up, repeating his mantra, _'She is okay. She is okay'_ as he hit dial again.

"How much?"

RO's voice dragged him from her message bank again, switching his mindset back into commanding officer. His crew needed direction, guidance, for him to be a pillar of strength, not the emotional wreck he felt he was slowly disintegrating into.

_She is okay. She is okay._

"All of it."

"OK."

"As much as we can carry. Where's all the Hartmann's?"

What if she was hurt, slowly bleeding out under a pile of rubble. She'd need IV fluids, blood products, anything that they might have onboard that could potentially save her life and there just wasn't enough of it! He didn't hold much faith in that of the islands medical services. She would be relying on them.

"That's it. Swain was waiting on a shipment of IV fluid."

_She is okay. She is okay._

"Come on, Kate. pick up!"

"Hi. You have reached Kate McGreg…"

He wanted to curse, to throw the phone, vent the frustration and the fear that gripped him with each passing moment. He had no way to know if she was even alive. The thought crossed his mind as to the last thing he said to her, if he'd even said 'I love you', before they sailed.

He briefly registered Bird entering the ward room, asking for details from RO. He just hit dial again, trying to put as much positive thought into the universe, that this time she would answer.

_She is okay. She is okay._

"Hi. You have…"

"The X isn't answering."

He didn't know if he stated it to ground them all, make them aware of what they were preparing for, or if it was to disguise what was going through his head. He needed to get down there, had to see with his own eyes what was happening in the nightclub district. They needed to move.

"OK, Bird, help with the blankets and water. Boat deck at the rush."

He rushed from the ward room, heading along the passageway to the boat deck. The atmosphere of the boat held a level of trepidation and fear, but determination shone through on his sailors faces. They would find their crew mates. They would be okay.

_She is okay._

* * *

As they approached the nightclub district, their senses were almost overwhelmed. The acrid smell of smoke hit them, the various materials that were burning causing their eyes and noses to sting. The sound of screams could be heard before they even hit the street, Mike silently praying that she was not one of them.

_She is okay. She is okay._

"Hi. You have…"

The sound of her voice on her message bank almost calmed him, imagining she was talking to him, rather than the thought that she was one of the screams of agony that were only increasing in pitch.

"Was that the X?"

He wished he could give a different answer.

"Still not answering. Goes straight through to message bank."

They continued past some of the emergency vehicles, pushing forward towards the scene, steeling themselves for what they were about to see. In the darkness of the alley, shadows of people streaming away from the ruined club were accentuated from behind by the red fires burning in the rubble. In amongst the groans and screams of people in agony, the sound of wood and other materials could be heard, popping as fire engulfed it.

_She is okay. She is okay_.

He continued to scan those pouring past him, in the hopes that one of shadows would be a familiar blonde officer. Fear gripped him as each face that passed was unrecognizable, seconds feeling like minutes the longer it took for him to find her.

"Boss!"

The sound of Dutchy's voice ramped up his fear. If Dutchy was here, it meant that they all would have been here. The grazes, the soot on his face only confirmed Mike's fears that she could only be in a similar, if not worse state.

_She is okay. She is okay._

His mantra on repeat as he turned around, trying to take it all in, but needing to find her. Out of the corner of his eye, he recognized Swain, and next to him, a flash of blonde hair. His heart skipped a beat, doubt creeping in that it was her. He wasn't this lucky was he?

She stood up, her eyes meeting his. They moved towards each other, almost without thinking, a need to feel each other, to ground each other. He reached out for her, his hand snaking around her back. Even through her shirt and his gloves he could feel her warmth, absolute proof that she was here, alive, okay.

"Thank God. I thought…"

He swallowed hard, pushing the fears down as he gripped at her shirt, almost drawing her in closer. Her hand rested on his chest, right above his pounding heart, calming it almost instantly.

_She is okay. She is okay._

"No, I'm alright. 2Dads was in the bar when the bomb went off. Now we can't find him."

_She is okay. She is okay._

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, the fierce determination in her eyes to help those at the scene almost breathing a fire into him. He took a steadying breath before he turned from her, his hand slowly caressing her back as he drew it back, standing up to his full height. He pulled on his 'veneer of command', as Kate would call it and took charge.

_She is okay._

* * *

The full extent of the night started to settle in as he looked over his crew. Dirty, exhausted, but a sense of accomplishment for the lives they had saved tonight. He glanced back over his shoulder at the row of body bags, silently thankful that not only were none of his crew in them, but she wasn't. He slowly moved past his crew, acknowledging and applauding the work they had done, checking in with each of them. As he looked up from his position next to 2Dads, his eyes met hers, the nights earlier emotions pouring in, almost overwhelming him. The fear that he wouldn't see her again, the sorrow of not telling her he loved her one more time and the regret of putting his career before her again. He settled down next to her, rubbing at his face as he tried to put into words what was running through his head.

_She is okay. She is okay._

"I, uh… Couldn't get you on the phone. For those 20 minutes…"

His voice broke, the fear paralyzing him at the thought that he may have lost her. A sudden pressure on his forearm drew him back to the here and now, the warmth of her hand pulling him from his thoughts, reassuring him that she was there with him, that she was okay. He reached for her hand, gripping it with a need that he could only show through touch in that moment. Their eyes met, and he tried to tell her everything that he was feeling with one look. It wasn't enough. He needed more, but the movement of his crew in his peripheries made him remember that right now, he was a CO sitting with his XO. His realization was reflected on her face, and with a small sigh of disappointment, she drew her hand back. In that second, it was almost like he'd lost a small part of himself, the area she'd been holding going instantly cold. He suppressed a shiver, disguising it by removing his cap and running his hand through his hair. He tried to regain his composure. He was a CO. They couldn't do this now.

* * *

After having a cool shower and pulling on some clean clothes, exhaustion settled quickly over Mike. He sat on the edge of his rack, hands running through his hair as he tried to pull his emotions back into check. In his mind, he knew Kate was okay. She was a deck below him, probably already asleep. But the fear hadn't quite left, gripping his heart every now and again as his mind slipped back to the events of the evening. He needed to see her, if only to lay eyes on her to assure himself that she was okay before going to sleep himself. Quickly pulling on some sandals, he bundled up his dirty uniform, heading for the laundry first to drop them off, an excuse if he ran into any of the crew. The red lighting of the passageway ramped up his anxiety, the usually comforting glow only reminding him of the flames that had taken so many that evening. He hurried along the passageway, the need to see Kate almost beginning to overwhelm him. He moved quietly, not wanting to wake anyone and as he passed by the junior sailors cabins, he could not even hear a murmur, the silence only proving the exhaustion that he knew the crew felt.

He knocked softly at her door, surprised when a quiet "Come in," could be heard through it. Opening the door quietly, he was overwhelmed by her smell, the slight mustiness, combined with the scent of her soap and shampoo, evident of her recent shower. She stood by her rack, hair still slightly damp, in a pair of mini shorts and a plain cotton singlet. The need to touch her, feel her flooded through him and she barely had the chance to ask what he was doing before his lips were on hers, his hands gripping at her waist like she might disappear.

She gave in beneath him almost immediately, her hands gripping at his shirt in an attempt to keep her balance. Her lips moved instinctively against his, deepening the kiss without even thinking. He shifted his hand around her back, drawing her closer to him, the movement eliciting a soft moan as he caressed her. He shifted, wanting to draw her down onto her rack, but she drew her hands up to his face, slowly pulling back as he let out a sigh of disappointment. His forehead rested against hers, his eyes closed as he tried to control his breathing.

"Mike?"

His name slipped out as a whisper, but the question behind it was evident. This was not normal behaviour for him and she knew it.

"Mike?" Her thumb slowly moved over his cheek, his head turning into her touch. "What is it?"

Slowly, he opened his eyes to meet hers. Within the depths of her eyes, he could see the concern but also the love that she held for him. He brought his hand up to cover hers, sighing slightly as he buried into her touch. His arm tightened around her back, drawing her closer, needing to feel as much of her as possible.

"I just had to see that you were okay."

Her eyes glistened slightly under the emotion in his voice. Gently, she took his hand, placing it over her left breast. He could feel her heart, beating strongly against his hand, a result of the emotions passing between them.

"I'm here. I am okay."

His pinky finger slowly moved over the curve of her breast, able to feel the puckering of her nipple through the thin cotton of her singlet. She tightened her grip on his hand, letting out a soft sigh. Her eyes slipped shut, head falling back as she focused on the sensation, his name falling from her lips in a soft pant. Feeling her come alive under his touch only fueled his need for more. His lips met hers, nipping at her bottom lip as her hips ground into him, his cock hardening in response. Groaning, he tugged at her shirt, quickly breaking the kiss as he tore it off. Manipulating their position, he quickly had her pinned in her rack, his entire body running the length of hers. All self-control gone, he lost himself in her, the fear that had almost consumed him, disappearing with each moment that their bodies were connected.

_She was okay._


End file.
